Mr and Mrs B go to paradise?

By: John and Dena Braun

It was bound to happen.  You know, the “less than advertised” experience.  Well, this one really took the cake for us.  In retrospect, we’ve been able to find a suitable mental state in which we’re comfortable sharing what has become perhaps our worst experience to date.  Enjoy, and…be warned!

Dena:  When I first saw our schedule for Malaysia, I was beyond excited to see that we were going to be going to someplace called Perhentian Island.  I’d read about exotic Asian islands and couldn’t wait to sample a luxury paradise on my first trip to Asia.

John:  So excited, in fact, that we packed Dena's personal face mask and snorkel since most loaner equipment doesn't fit her.  I was looking forward to some underwater fun myself.

Dena: hmmm, underwater fun?  Unfortunately, not only did that not happen, we never made it in the water at all.  Although there were numerous times, as the hull of the small boat to the island rose out of the ocean and smashed back down that I was certain I was going to be treading water in the South China Sea.  Since I get sick doing any whitewater sport, I also thought there was a better than average chance that the rest of my day would be spent with the porcelain Gods.  

John:  The boat ride wasn’t pleasant (I’m feeling exceedingly generous writing this).  I’m the one who is the first to jump, fly or do anything adventurous, and this boat ride concerned me!

Dena:  I should have known that the boat ride was merely an amuse bouche to the main course waiting for us at the island.  We arrived to a deserted dock and no idea where to go after we dragged our luggage across the beach.  Finally a housekeeper gestured to us to go right and we found the check-in.  We learned that there was a limited staff because the resort wasn’t officially open!  

John:  That might explain the decidedly third world appearance of the grounds on this resort.  Rubbish, debris, piles of laundry, brooms…all were where they should not have been.  IN PLAIN SIGHT!

Dena:  The room was the last straw.  Granted only one light was working, but from what I could see there were holes in the wall, holes in the sheets and holes in the towels.  The circa 1970s bedspread was stained with God only knows what.  After seeing the toilet in our room, I sent a prayer upstairs that my face would not need to be anywhere near it.  Oh, and did I mention that we were assured that this was a four or five star resort?

John:  Yes, this was a four or five star resort.  The little tidbit about who rates the resorts was not shared with us.  We later found out that it was the Ministry of Tourism for the country, not an independent group like Michelin!  Oh, did I mention that this was an all-inclusive resort?

Dena:  Club Med it was not and I set about making arrangements to leave the island.  Unfortunately, the last boat of the day had sailed.  Yes, it was so bad I was willing to go through another boat ride just to escape.

John:  Call me Gilligan…I’m stuck!  That would make Dena the Maryanne of the island.  We now had 17 hours till the next boat, and we were counting the minutes.  So, with camera in hand, we toured the grounds, and took some pictures that weren’t quite brochure-ready.

Dena:  Maryanne?  I prefer to think of myself as Ginger…Anyhow since we were stranded John suggested we make the best of it.  In this case our best option was to stay out of the dreary and dirty room.  We read books for hours, took a walk and spent the evening at the restaurant siphoning as much free Internet (surprisingly, the island was connected) as we could while listening to a Malaysian remix of Elton John.  Around 11 pm we couldn’t postpone the inevitable any longer and went back to our “villa”.  

John:  This was the worst time.  First, there was no radio or TV in the room.  Not that we need to watch TV on vacation, but sometimes the background noise is nice.  Next, after contemplating the bedding for a while, I decided it would be most prudent to don more clothes, and sleep on top of the bed, not under the sheets.  Morning couldn’t arrive soon enough.

Dena:  I was shocked when I woke up at 5 a.m. and realized we had slept through the night and were just a mere three hours from rescue.

John:  Yes, 180 minutes away to a slower and smoother boat ride back to the mainland.  This time was pretty uneventful…breakfast and a wait.  The menu was extremely limited as the resort wasn’t opened, but they did do pretty well with what they had.  The fruit at breakfast was great.  Flavorful and juicy.  

Dena:  I was partial to the toasted wonder bread myself….

John:  And, there it was.  A boat twice the size of the one that brought us out, and by all measures, many times as seaworthy!  Needless to say, we were first to be on board.

Mr and Mrs B go to the durango wine fest

By: John and Dena Braun

A little background is necessary to fully appreciate what you are about to read.  It’s not easy to say, so the best thing here might just be to come straight out with it…John has never had a drink.  Ever.

John:

Wine festival!  Woo-hoo!

Dena:

Shiraz, Cabernet, Pinot, Chardonnay.  So many choices, so little tolerance.  Where to start?

John:

Where to start?  Bottled water and crackers.  That’s where.  Actually, when I first heard about Durango’s First Annual Wine Festival, I really was excited.  Although I don’t drink, I certainly do enjoy going out with people.  Plus, it’s really not that bad being the designated safe driver.  Although most people look forward to the chance to sample so many great wines in one weekend, I was looking forward to the food (I do eat!).

Dena:

For the town’s first wine fest they certainly put on an impressive show.  Over 90 wineries were represented, a variety of wine tastings, dinners and educational seminars filled out the weekend.  The fest kicked off in high style with a tasting staged at art galleries throughout downtown.  This was fun!  A sip here, a sip there.  It was a great chance to sample so many wines.  So many, that I never realized that one sip of say 60 wines, really adds up…

John:

Did you catch that Dena might have a low alcohol tolerance?  Those sips did indeed add up.  

Dena:

Was Durango really spinning?  My teetoler husband insisted it wasn’t.  We were supposed to go to, of all things, a five-course wine dinner in about 30 minutes after the wine stagger (oh, I mean walk).  Right now, that bed in my room sounded much more appealing, but we were committed.  With John steering the way, I stumbled to the restaurant.

John:

Back to those sips for a moment…they added up to so much that during dinner, Dena paired each course with a great current vintage Diet Coke.  Now, some might think that it would be rather, shall we say uncomfortable, to sit through a wine dinner, and drink no wine.  Well, they’d all be wrong.  Think about it.  Who are the most popular people at the table?  Those that pass their wine on to their tablemates!

Dena:

Yea, we were the life of the party; everybody wanted to be our friend!  Thankfully by dessert my equilibrium returned and I was able to sample the ice wine, a somewhat rare treat I was happy I was able to enjoy.  With the first day of the festival behind us, and my buzz worn off, I was plotting my strategy for the next day’s tastings so there wouldn’t be a repeat of the first night.

John:

Even though I don’t partake, I certainly do enjoy the stories behind the wines, the wineries and the people who dedicate their lives to creating them.  They all have stories.  The ice wine, for instance, can only be made when the grapes are at a specific ripeness, and at a precise temperature.  Even then, only a small yield is possible.  How do they figure this stuff out?

Dena:

Sometimes when we travel with other people, we end up doing things we normally wouldn’t choose.  The Durango wine fest is proof that even if you aren’t as into an activity as your travel mates are, you can usually find some fun and enjoyment in the experience. In fact, John was just asking me this past weekend if we could go back to the wine festival this year…personally, I think he’s just hoping for a repeat performance of my Walk around Durango….

You Can Take it With You
Easy to pack fitness equipment

By: Dena Braun

For Fit Globetrotters, staying in shape on the road is challenging.  Instead of relying on often inferior hotel gyms, create your own travel fitness kit with these easy-to-pack exercise devices.

Jump Rope—Bring back memories of childhood and get a great cardiovascular workout in the process.  According to the National Institute of health, jumping rope can burn up to 750 calories per hour (keep in mind that women, and those with lower body weight will burn less).  Jumping rope at 130 revolutions per minute is equivalent to running six miles an hour.  Choose a rope that when you stand with your feet on the middle of the rope, the handles extend to your armpits.  Give your knees a break and avoid jumping on hard surfaces (like concrete). 

Resistance Bands—Bands and tubes can give your body a workout similar to working out with weights.  Bands are available with different levels of resistance so they’re suitable for all fitness levels.  For an example of exercises you can do with bands visit http://exercise.about.com/cs/exerciseworkouts/l/blvacworkout.htm

Inflatable Dumbbells—These collapsible dumbbells fold down to fit in a briefcase and weigh just 26 ounces.  When filled with water they offer 16 lbs of resistance per dumbbell.  There are four water chambers per dumbbell so you can inflate them to the level you need.  http://www.aquabells.com/specs.html

Running Shoes—View the world as your gym.  Take advantage of the opportunity to run or hike in destinations around the world.

Ankle/Wrist Weights—Get a workout on your next walk by adding adjustable ankle or wrist weights.  Most brands are available in one to twenty pounds.

 Land news

• 5-29-08-A stugy by the American College of Sports Medicine ranks San Francisco as the fittest US City.

• TripAdvisor names 3 Hawaii Beaches in its Top 10 US Beaches.  Kailua Beach Park and Waimea Beach Park on Oahu and Tunnels Beach on Kauai.

• Hotwire names Phoenix as the top US city for vacation value.

• The US Dept of Commerce reported that 2007 saw the most international visitors, 57 million, to the US.

• A TripAdvisor survey showed 50% of US responders planning a trip to Europe this year, with Sept. being the busiest month for overseas travel.  The same survey ranked Prague, Budapest and Lisbon as the best bargain destinations.

•  B&Bs in over 40 states, the Carribean and Canada join forces with the Tanks a Lot promotion offering free gas for staying at their inn.  www.bedandbreakfast.com

• The Louise, a vineyard hotel in the Barossa Valley was just named the best luxury accomodation in Australia by the Qantas Australian Tourism Awards.  www.thelouise.com.au

• A proposal is being tossed around for a high speed magnetically levitating train linking Disneyland and Las Vegas.  The trip would take under 2 hours.

• The new Proximity Hotel in Greensboro NC is looking to become LEED certified.

• On similar news the Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Sap is the only LEED gold certified hotel in the US and a copy of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth sits with the bible in every room. 

• The weakening US dollar had one good result—an increase of about 1.5 million overseas visitors compared to 2006.

• According to Smartertravel.com the top five bargain destinations for spring are Costa Rica, Tahiti, Washington DC, Spain and Boston.

• The Four Seasons Resort Mauritius t Anahita will open soon and is currently taking reservations.  www.fourseason.com

• Download a free London travel guide for your IPOD, IPhone or other mobile device.  The guide features maps, facts and video on a variety of attractions.  www.londontravelguide.com

• Poseidon Undersea Resort, a $105 million dollar submerged hotel below the coast of Fiji is slated to open in 2009 and begins taking reservations this spring. www.poseidonresorts.com