It was bound to happen. You know, the “less than advertised” experience. Well, this one really took the cake for us. In retrospect, we’ve been able to find a suitable mental state in which we’re comfortable sharing what has become perhaps our worst experience to date. Enjoy, and…be warned!
Dena: When I first saw our schedule for Malaysia, I was beyond excited to see that we were going to be going to someplace called Perhentian Island. I’d read about exotic Asian islands and couldn’t wait to sample a luxury paradise on my first trip to Asia.
John: So excited, in fact, that we packed Dena's personal face mask and snorkel since most loaner equipment doesn't fit her. I was looking forward to some underwater fun myself.
Dena: hmmm, underwater fun? Unfortunately, not only did that not happen, we never made it in the water at all. Although there were numerous times, as the hull of the small boat to the island rose out of the ocean and smashed back down that I was certain I was going to be treading water in the South China Sea. Since I get sick doing any whitewater sport, I also thought there was a better than average chance that the rest of my day would be spent with the porcelain Gods.
John: The boat ride wasn’t pleasant (I’m feeling exceedingly generous writing this). I’m the one who is the first to jump, fly or do anything adventurous, and this boat ride concerned me!
Dena: I should have known that the boat ride was merely an amuse bouche to the main course waiting for us at the island. We arrived to a deserted dock and no idea where to go after we dragged our luggage across the beach. Finally a housekeeper gestured to us to go right and we found the check-in. We learned that there was a limited staff because the resort wasn’t officially open!
John: That might explain the decidedly third world appearance of the grounds on this resort. Rubbish, debris, piles of laundry, brooms…all were where they should not have been. IN PLAIN SIGHT!
Dena: The room was the last straw. Granted only one light was working, but from what I could see there were holes in the wall, holes in the sheets and holes in the towels. The circa 1970s bedspread was stained with God only knows what. After seeing the toilet in our room, I sent a prayer upstairs that my face would not need to be anywhere near it. Oh, and did I mention that we were assured that this was a four or five star resort?
John: Yes, this was a four or five star resort. The little tidbit about who rates the resorts was not shared with us. We later found out that it was the Ministry of Tourism for the country, not an independent group like Michelin! Oh, did I mention that this was an all-inclusive resort?
Dena: Club Med it was not and I set about making arrangements to leave the island. Unfortunately, the last boat of the day had sailed. Yes, it was so bad I was willing to go through another boat ride just to escape.
John: Call me Gilligan…I’m stuck! That would make Dena the Maryanne of the island. We now had 17 hours till the next boat, and we were counting the minutes. So, with camera in hand, we toured the grounds, and took some pictures that weren’t quite brochure-ready.
Dena: Maryanne? I prefer to think of myself as Ginger…Anyhow since we were stranded John suggested we make the best of it. In this case our best option was to stay out of the dreary and dirty room. We read books for hours, took a walk and spent the evening at the restaurant siphoning as much free Internet (surprisingly, the island was connected) as we could while listening to a Malaysian remix of Elton John. Around 11 pm we couldn’t postpone the inevitable any longer and went back to our “villa”.
John: This was the worst time. First, there was no radio or TV in the room. Not that we need to watch TV on vacation, but sometimes the background noise is nice. Next, after contemplating the bedding for a while, I decided it would be most prudent to don more clothes, and sleep on top of the bed, not under the sheets. Morning couldn’t arrive soon enough.
Dena: I was shocked when I woke up at 5 a.m. and realized we had slept through the night and were just a mere three hours from rescue.
John: Yes, 180 minutes away to a slower and smoother boat ride back to the mainland. This time was pretty uneventful…breakfast and a wait. The menu was extremely limited as the resort wasn’t opened, but they did do pretty well with what they had. The fruit at breakfast was great. Flavorful and juicy.
Dena: I was partial to the toasted wonder bread myself….
John: And, there it was. A boat twice the size of the one that brought us out, and by all measures, many times as seaworthy! Needless to say, we were first to be on board.
